She Has 3 Seconds to Decide If You’re Worth It

She opens the app, she sees your post, and she has a reaction, but she keeps scrolling.

I wanna talk about what actually happens in those three seconds, and I wanna talk to you about why most of the people teaching you how to grow your business have been giving you advice that was never built for your mom buyer in the first place.

Hello, and welcome to Why She Buys.

I'm Trish Ware.

If you're brand new here, hi.

I am so glad you found this show.

I wanna tell you really quickly what this is and who it's for, because I built this for a very specific person in mind.

This show is for you if you have an offer, a service, a course, a program, anything that you sell to moms, parents, or a consumer audience.

We are not selling to businesses over here.

We're selling to real humans who are tired and busy and scrolling and trying to figure out if what you have is going to actually help them.

That is my lane, and I will tell you right now, it is the most underserved lane in the online business space because almost every coach, every strategist, every guru that is teaching you how to sell is teaching you how to sell to other business owners, and your buyer is not a business owner.

Maybe she's a mom who's hiding on the bathroom floor to get three minutes to herself.

So that's what we do here.

We talk about why she buys, the psychology, the messaging, the content, the experience, all of it,

Through the lens of the actual human being you are trying to reach.

I built my birth business, Labor Nurse Mama, to seven figures before I ever coached a single person.

I was in the weeds selling to moms for years before anyone was paying me to show them how.

So everything I bring to you in this show is coming from proof, not theory, not something I learned from another coach, and I think you'll feel that difference.

So let's get into it so I wanna start with something that happened in my Sold Out Offer Challenge, which is a live five-day challenge that I do every six to seven weeks.

So this one was a couple weeks ago, and I was teaching, and one of the women in the group says to me, I am paraphrasing, you know, so this is pretty much word for word, but she said something like, "Trish, I don't understand.

My reel got saved like crazy.

I had people commenting, I had people tagging their friends, and I got zero sales." And you guys, I wanna be honest with you, my soul lights up when someone brings that to me, not because I was happy she didn't make sales, of course.

I was not happy about that.

But because this is the exact thing I wanna talk about.

It's a gap.

There is a gap between getting attention and getting paid, because they're not the same thing, and we act like they are.

She had done everything right on the surface, the hook, the good content.

She showed up consistently, and the post did well by all the vanity metrics that you would look at, saves, comments, reach, and nobody bought anything.

So here's what I said to her, and I'm gonna say to you before we get into the actual teaching today.

The problem is almost never your content.

The problem is that most of us have never stopped to really understand the psychology of the person we are creating for.

And when you don't understand her psychology, you can create really good content for the wrong reasons, and it will get you followers, but maybe not buyers.

So that is what we're gonna talk about today.

We're gonna go back to the very beginning, to the three seconds.

What is actually happening in those three seconds when she encounters your content, and what makes her stop versus keep going, and what makes her buy rather than just being like, "Ooh, nice.

This was great

Okay, so here's the thing that I think most people get completely wrong about their buyer.

They imagine her sitting there, you know, coffee in hand, intentionally searching for what they offer.

Like, she woke up that morning and said, "You know what? Today I'm gonna find the perfect sleep coach," or the perfect postpartum coach, or the perfect business coach for B2C women, and she's going through Instagram methodically looking for the answer.

That is not your buyer.

That is a B2B buyer.

The person who buys from a B2B company, a business owner buying a tool, or a software, or a service for their business, they are actively hunting.

They have already identified the problem.

They know what they need.

They're actively looking for it.

So when they find you, the decision process is shorter because they were already in the market for you.

Your buyer is not hunting.

Your buyer is hiding.

Like, literally hiding.

She's in the carpool line.

She's escaping.

She's, like, mind-numbing, okay?

She's waiting to pick up her kids.

She has three minutes to herself, and she pulls out her phone because she just needs a second where nobody needs anything from her.

Or, and I say this with love because I know we've all been there, she is pretending.

I'm a mom of seven, y'all, so I know this for a fact.

She is pretending to be in the bathroom longer than she needs to be because she just needs to be a human for a moment and not be Mom.

She's scrolling to escape, and she makes the decisions to stop for you specifically in about three seconds,

And three seconds is generous to be real.

So when I say that to you, that the first three seconds are the most important thing you can get right in your content, I want you to really hear that.

Not the caption length, not the font, not whether or not you should use hashtags or not, not the trending audio, not whether you showed your face or used text.

Those things do matter, but the most important thing is the three seconds that come first so what is happening in her brain in those three seconds?

She's making one decision, and the decision is not, is this good content?

It's not, does this person seem credible?

It's not, should I buy this?

The decision is, is this about me?

That's it.

That's the whole thing.

Is this about me?

Do I fit in here?

If the answer is yes, she stops.

If the answer is no, she keeps scrolling, and if the answer is, "I'm not sure," she keeps scrolling.

She does not give you guys the benefit of the doubt, and you may never get another chance.

She does not have the bandwidth for having to do all the thinking to try to figure it out.

She's got four other things happening simultaneously, and a screen full of other content competing for the same three seconds.

So is this about me?

That is the question you have to answer before she asks it.

So when she looks at it, is she going to answer, "Yes, this is about me"?

Now here's where it gets really interesting, because you don't have just one buyer in your audience, you have four, and they are all scrolling right now, and they all stop for different reasons.

And if you do not know which one you are talking to when you create a piece of content, you're basically just throwing something at the wall and hoping the right person catches it.

I'm gonna teach you guys a whole system for this throughout my show, but today we're gonna introduce you to the four people who are in your audience right now, okay?

I call them Ready Rachel, Hesitant Haley, Lurker Linda, which is a mouthful, and Unaware Uma.

Ready Rachel needs it now.

I mean right now.

Her baby hasn't slept in three nights.

Her toddler has a meltdown every morning before 8:00 AM.

She is desperate for a solution to a specific problem, and she knows exactly what the problem is.

She's not actually looking for an answer, but if you are so crystal clear that it's for her and you help that problem, when she hits your content in those three seconds, she's deciding, " Does this person actually get it?

Do they understand what I'm dealing with?" And if the answer is yes, she's in.

She just needs a clear path, a direct invitation.

That's all she needs from you

Hesitant Haley has been burned.

She's bought the PDF that sat in her downloads folder.

She didn't understand it, so she didn't get any results.

She got into the Facebook group that was a ghost town, right?

She's tried things.

She's interested in your offer.

She wants the result, but she is protecting herself.

And what she's looking for in those three seconds is not hype, it's proof.

Now, Lurker Linda, and I love talking about her because she's the buyer most people completely forget.

She's following you.

She's reading your posts.

She's saved your content.

She's probably sent something of yours to a friend, but you have no idea she's there.

She's marinating.

She's not cold, but she's also not hot or warm.

She's been watching you for months, and what makes her lean in is consistency.

She's deciding, are you for real, and are you gonna stick around?

She's deciding if you are the expert that can teach her this one thing.

So if you're teaching the same thing for three months, you got her.

If you're switching what you're saying and doing, you lost her, okay?

And Lurker Linda can go to Ready Rachel very fast.

The next one is Unaware Uma.

She doesn't even know her problem has a name.

She thinks the exhaustion is just motherhood.

She thinks this is normal.

In fact, doctors or providers have told her that it's normal, and every mom feels this way, this pain, this emotion, whatever it is.

And that's what she's just heard always.

she doesn't know that what's going on is a problem.

So when she reads your content and thinks, "Wait, is that about me?"

That's the hook for her.

Not the offer, not the result, just being recognized.

And all four of them are in your audience right now.

And the reason I'm telling you this in episode that we're doing today is because I need you to understand that there is not one hook and not one piece of content that is going to reach all four of them at once.

You have to rotate.

Now, some of them will commingle and hit more than one of them at once.

But you have to think about who you are talking to with each specific piece of content, and then build your three seconds for her.

This is why you have to be rotating through content.

So if someone's like, "Well, I sold my offer last week and it got crickets," I don't care.

You're gonna sell it again because ready Rachel needs direct pathway.

Tell her what to do.

Most of the content advice that exists on social media and in the internet was written for influencers, and there's nothing wrong with that, right?

If your goal is to be an influencer, or maybe it's written for B2B.

If your goal is to have a massive audience based on your personality and your lifestyle and your relatability, that content strategy works great.

But if that is not your goal, your goal is to build a business that sells to moms, and those are completely different content An influencer wants to be liked.

Their job is to be relatable.

They build an audience through their personality and their aesthetics and their vibe.

And when that audience is big enough, they get brand deals and sponsorships, and they monetize through reach.

Your job is to be trusted.

Your job is to be credible.

You're an expert educator with an active business, and your buyer does not need to like you the way she likes her favorite influencer.

She needs to trust you the way she trusts her doctor.

Those are not the same relationship, and they do not require the same kind of content.

Famous gets you followers, trusted gets you buyers.

So what does this mean for those first three seconds?

It means your hook cannot be vague, cannot be broad.

It cannot be trying to speak to everyone, because when you speak to everyone, you reach no one.

So here's the difference.

An influencer hook might say, "Mom, can you relate?" Your hook says, " You haven't slept more than four hours in six days, and you're starting to wonder if something is actually wrong with you." Now, even better, you're saying exactly who she is.

You're a new mom.

You haven't slept more than so on.

You see how that works, right?

Do you hear the difference, though?

One of them talks about moms in general.

The other one talks to one specific mom in one specific moment.

Because if you said, "You haven't slept more than four hours in six days," that could be me in perimenopause.

It could be my daughter who has a six-month-old, or it could be a mom with a teenager who's up, out, and hasn't come home for curfew, right?

And they're scared.

So you have to be even more specific.

Can't just say, "Mom." Can't say, "Hey, Mom.

You haven't slept for more than four days," or four hours.

Four days would be bad.

You have to be specific.

So you are a mom going through perimenopause, and you haven't slept more than four hours in six days.

You are a new mom of a baby under three months old.

You are a mom who has two toddlers, or, you know.

You see what I'm saying?

Do you hear the difference?

We wanna speak to a specific mom in one specific moment.

And when she reads that second type of hook, she stops because her brain doesn't have to figure out if it's about her or someone else.

She knows it is.

That is why I'm obsessed with what I call you language.

The word you does something in the brain that no other word does.

When she reads the word you, her brain automatically tries to fit herself into the scenario.

It is a cognitive shortcut.

It bypasses the question of, "Is this relevant to me?" Because the word itself already answered it.

So go look at your last five posts right now, after the episode, not someday, after the episode, and I want you to count how many times your first sentence uses the word you versus any other word.

If you are opening with I, she has to work to figure out if it's about her.

She won't do it.

If you're opening with moms, she has to self-identify.

She might not.

She might.

If you were opening with you and then describe her exact moment, her Tuesday, her brain does the work for her.

She doesn't have to decide anything.

She just stops.

That is the three seconds.

That's it

A lot of my clients that come to me inside of Content Mastery Mastermind, when we start going through their content, we realize that what they're doing a lot is starting with themself, because they want to show that they have the expertise, and they want to seem valuable.

But really, with a mom audience, you have to start with her.

She doesn't care about all that.

She just cares that you're gonna help her.

And to stop the scroll, she has to see herself.

So I had a client, and she came into my world, and she was doing everything the guru accounts were telling her to do.

She had a posting schedule, she had a list of hooks.

She was showing up consistently, and she was getting pretty good engagement.

People were saving things, people were commenting nice things, but they weren't converting.

When I looked at her content, the very first thing I noticed that almost every single post started with a version of I or my.

"I wanna share something with you today. I've been thinking about this. I had a client who…"

She was leading with herself, and I wanna be really clear 'cause this is not an ego problem, it's a psychology problem.

When your buyer sees I as the first word, she has to do extra work.

They don't wanna do that work.

Remember what I said, moms are escaping.

They're tired, they're overwhelmed, they're exhausted.

So we began to rewrite the first line on every post, and we started with the teaching method that I teach, right?

So instead of saying I, we're saying you.

So we went from, "I've been thinking" to, "You've done everything." Same idea, same offer, but a different first three seconds.

And that second post got saved three times as much as anything that she had posted in three months, and she got DMs from people asking about how to work with her.

That is the power of what we're talking about

Okay, here's what I want you to walk with today.

She has three seconds, and in those three seconds, her brain is making one decision, "Is this about me?" Your job is to make the answer yes before she even finishes reading the first line.

Start with you.

Describe… When I say you, I mean the word you.

Describe her exact Tuesday, not moms in general, not your ideal client in theory, but one specific woman in one specific moment.

And when you do that, you will start noticing a shift.

Not overnight, but the data will start to tell you.

Saves can go up, DMs come in, and the people who do reach out are already warm because they felt seen.

Moms are lonely.

You want them to feel seen before they ever hear about your offer.

If you wanna do this live with me, I run my Sold-Out Offer Challenge every six to seven weeks.

It's five days of going deep on your buyer, your messaging, your content together, and the link is in the show notes.

You can go to trishwearcoaching.com/soo.

And next week we're gonna go into the caption, because stopping the scroll is step one.

What happens in the first line of your caption is step two, and most people are losing her right there.

So I will see you again next week.

Here's what I want you to do.

Subscribe, and do a girl a favor, write a review, leave a comment, please.

I will just be so grateful.

And if someone in your world is selling to moms or parents or B2C and wondering why their content isn't converting, send them this episode.

That is exactly who this show is for.

I will see you guys next week.

Remember, if you're not selling, you won't sell, so selling sells your offer.

The magic is already inside you, so that's your cosmic slap on the booty, and I'll see you again next week.

Bye for now.