5 Sales Phrases That Actually Kill Sales (What Pros Say Instead)

Welcome to Sold Out Sales School, the podcast for women with heart led impact driven offers who are tired of being the Internet's best kept secret.

I'm Trish Ware, mom of seven, former labor nurse turned seven, figure business owner and business mentor for B2C brands.

If you're marketing to moms.

Parents or real people who are not gonna make money off your offer.

This show was made for you.

You tried the big name coaches, but their strategies weren't built for your audience.

Here we do sales differently.

No bro marketing.

No cold dms, no weird hooks.

No fake urgency, just clear messaging aligned offers and strategy that actually converts.

You're not here to hustle harder and miss all your family events.

You're here to scale smarter with simplicity.

So let's get you sold out.

Brenda, I need you to hear this.

I lost $47,000 in revenue because of five words, five simple words that I thought.

Were just words I could use that make me sound confident, whether it's in my dms or my discovery calls.

But we're actually screaming unsure to every BFE or potential client who read them, and here's what I never saw coming.

97% of female entrepreneurs are using these exact same phrases right now in their dms.

On discovery calls in classes or workshops or trainings and wondering.

Why their conversions don't convert and why people ghost them after showing a little bit of interest and why they're getting tons of engagement, but zero sales by the end of this video, you're gonna know the five phrases that are killing your DM sales, the exact words that million dollar entrepreneurs use instead, and the psychology behind why this tiny shift.

Can literally double your conversion rate, even if you think you're already good at selling in your dms or on discovery calls.

Even if you're building your audience for years, I promise you, you are using at least a few of these phrases without even realizing it.

Listen, I'm gonna give you the exact DM scripts.

The word for word comment responses and the real world message examples that have changed my business where I am getting high five figure tickets sold without getting on a call.

But first, let me tell you about the DM conversation that made me realize.

I was sabotaging myself with every simple message and why I dove into sales psychology and poured a lot of investment into learning how to sell with minimal effort.

So a couple years ago, I had just posted about a struggle I'd overcome in my business going from a burnout nurse and a terrible marriage to a seven figure entrepreneur, and the comments were great.

And I was getting a lot of dms of women sharing their own struggles and asking questions, engaging, and I was so excited because I knew my mastermind could help every single one of them.

So we started these DM conversations and I'm going back and forth, you know, honestly not pouring a lot of thought into the conversations because.

I thought I was really good at sales, right?

And these are perfect messages.

Addressing their problems and offering solutions, and I was being helpful, professional, you know, I felt like I was being confident, but I was getting crickets.

Message after message left.

In my dms and a few of them were responding, but they were saying, oh, thanks.

I'm not really ready for this right now.

Or they just ghosted me, which really, truly sucked.

Here's the truth about what I learned, and this is the business principle.

Most people miss confidence and certainty sell, and your ideal client, your best fan ever, your BFE will buy confidence.

Before they buy all the A and Cs of what you are offering.

And every word you type or you say either builds that confidence or destroys it.

Now, if you've been following me for a while, you know I'm all about the voice memos, so when I say text, I also mean voicing this to your BFE and.

I never saw this coming, but I was accidentally using language in my messages that made me sound like I needed them more than they needed me.

Like desperate and uncertain and frankly, like someone they really couldn't trust with investing their money into.

And the crazy part was I really thought I was doing a good job.

I could not for life in me, figure out why I was getting ghosted.

So.

Like I said, I did something that changed everything.

I started screenshotting my next conversations and looking at every single word, and using that with the training that I was pouring in investment into my growth as a salesperson, I discovered that I was using specific phrases that were systematically destroying my credibility and making me sound desperate and not confident.

And I was losing those ladies, right?

So everything changed when I had a conversation with a client who had just invested.

She started out, invested 10 K with me for the mastermind after a DM conversation, and then she upgraded to my highest level, which is 20 2K at the time.

And I asked her what made her decide to work with me instead of other coaches that you know, obviously are probably sledding into her dms.

And her answer shocked me.

She said, Trish, the others sounded like they were begging me for my business, and you took the time to send me voice memos and you were confident that you knew exactly how to help me.

And that's when it hit me.

The language I was using in my dms was creating a barrier between me and my prospects, and I was speaking desperate.

I need you, girl.

I need you.

Instead of, I'm confident, I'm an expert and you need me.

So I got rid of those five phrases from my dms and from my comment responses and conversations and discovery calls.

And it took me a while.

I won't, I won't lie.

'cause some of them are things we say without even thinking.

And here's what's crazy.

When I made these changes, my DM to sale conversion jumped in just a few months.

But here's the thing nobody talks about.

It's not just about what you type.

It's about the psychology behind why these words trigger rejection in your prospect's brain when they're reading your messages.

And that's what we're diving into right now.

The first phrase that's killing your DM conversations is, I think, or I believe Now you might be thinking, Trish, that sounds humble and professional in a message or a voice memo, but here's what's actually happening in your B E's brain when they hear this or they read it.

When you DM someone saying, I think my program might help you, or I believe this could work for you, you're literally telling your prospect that you are not sure.

You are asking them to take a risk on something you're not even confident about.

Instead of saying, hi, I think my course would be perfect for what you're going through, I want you to switch it to this.

Hi, my course is exactly what you need for what you're going through.

Instead of something like, I believe we could get you great results, we will get you incredible results.

And here's how do you see the difference in the confidence in that energy?

Listen to the energy difference when someone reads these messages, I think you should join my program versus you need to join my program.

It's designed for exactly what you are struggling with.

Which one sounds like it's coming from an expert.

Who knows what they're talking about, rather than someone who is guessing that they might be able to help you.

I had a client who was getting a lot of engagement, a lot of comments and dms, but no conversions.

She kept replying to comments and messages to these people saying things like, I think my course might be able to help you with this, but when she changed it to my course will solve exactly what you're dealing with.

Let me show you how her conversion rate tripled.

Here's the psychology.

When someone comments about their struggle, they're looking for certainty from an expert.

When you use uncertain language in your comment replies or your dms, or your sales calls or discovery calls, whatever it is you do, you are asking them.

To be more confident in your solution than you are.

So your new DM scripts we're gonna go from, I think this course might help you to this course, will solve exactly what you just shared with me.

Instead of saying something like, I believe you'd get value from this, you'll get incredible value from this.

Do you see the flip in that psychology and how those words are very simple switches.

But this next phrase is even more dangerous in your dms because it makes you sound apologetic for even reaching out.

And we are getting rid of that, sis.

We do not want that anymore.

No apologies.

Right?

So the second phrase that's destroying your DM conversations is the word, just this tiny word is minimizing everything you say and making you sound apologetic for existing in their inbox.

And it's something like.

I just wanted to reach out.

I'm just following up.

I just think you should consider, it's just a quick conversation.

Every time you use just in a dm, you're making yourself and your offer smaller.

You're shrinking it down.

So listen to this.

I just wanted to see if you're interested in my course versus I wanted to share my course with you.

It's perfect for what you're going through.

Do you see that small switch?

Which one sounds like it's coming from someone who believes in their value and the value of their program.

Here are some dms also that convert, so I wanna give you guys practical strategies.

I just wanted to follow up on your comment.

I wanted to follow up on your comment with a solution.

I'm just checking in to see if you're interested.

I'm following up because I have exactly what you need.

Instead of saying, Hey, it's just a 15 minute call.

Instead flip it and say It's a 15 minute strategy call that will change everything.

Do you see the little small nuances that can up your sales?

I was coaching an entrepreneur who has been DMing people after they commented on her post, she kept starting with, I just saw your comment and thought.

And we went through her process of what she was doing and her response rate was bad.

It was low.

And when she changed it to this, now listen.

Very, very simple.

I just saw your comment and thought instead she changed it to, I saw your comment and I can help you with this.

Her response rate went to like 50% plus they started responding to her because in that one little switch, she was certain and certainty cells.

Here's what's happening.

Psychologically, the word just triggers what researchers call minimization bias.

And when someone reads your dm, their brain literally processes your offer as less valuable when you use that word.

And this applies to your comment responses as well.

I just posted about this on my story.

I posted the solution to this on my story.

Do you see how that flip is?

And just a tiny little flip can make you sound so much more confident.

Maybe you would comment and say, I just have a quick question for you.

Instead, I have an important question for you.

So I want you to eliminate the words, think and just right now.

But if you think just is bad in your dms, wait until you hear about the next phrase that's making you sound dishonest when you're trying to build trust, and we use this all the time, and this one can kill your conversions.

Tremendously.

The third phrase that's killing your DM credibility is to be honest or honestly.

Now, I know you're using this in messages because we think it builds trust, but it actually does the opposite.

Your trust meter is going down.

When you DM someone saying, to be honest, my program isn't cheap, or, honestly, I'm not sure if this will work for everyone, and you're thinking, I sound honest to her.

Your prospect subconscious immediately thinks, wait, were you being dishonest in what you were saying before?

When you say something like, to be honest, this course is an investment versus this program is an investment that will transform your.

Whatever, A, B, C, your birth, whatever it is.

Honestly, I think you benefit from this versus you'll get incredible results from this.

Just make the switch.

Trust me, get rid of, think and believe, just and honestly, or to be honest, here's the truth about what I learned, and this changed everything from my dms strategy.

When you're truly confident in your integrity, you don't need to announce it in your message.

Your honesty should be assumed, not declared.

So let's talk about these few messages.

So we're gonna go from, don't use this to use this.

Honestly, I think my course could help you as opposed to what will actually make sales, which is my course, will help you with exactly what you shared.

Or if you say, to be honest, this isn't for everyone.

Instead say, this is perfect for committed mamas like you, whoever you're selling to.

Honestly, you should probably invest in this.

No, do not say that.

What you're gonna say is you should definitely invest in this course.

The psychology here is so fascinating, and you guys know I dig into sales psychology.

That is my jam.

The research shows that when people use honestly, or to be honest and written, communication readers actually trust them less, not more.

And it's called the honesty penalty.

And it's even stronger in the dms because people are already skeptical of sales messages, especially if you're doing DMS sales in social media, because people are not coming to like really think in social media.

So if they decide, when you say, to be honest.

Or honestly that you are not honest, they're gonna bounce.

I had a client that we were working through her email strategy and she would say, to be honest, I think you would love my coaching program and.

You wanna switch that, like we switch that one thing to, you'd love my mastermind.

It's designed for someone exactly like you and her conversation rate in her emails began to increase your confident DM language, your confident email language, your confident video language is however you are speaking, is going to sell your course more than anything.

Instead of saying, honestly, this is the best solution I know.

Just say, this is the best solution for you.

Or instead of saying, to be honest, you need to make a decision, say.

You need to make a decision.

Your business depends on it or however you wanna phrase that.

The next phrase is the one that really almost destroyed my DM strategy, and I see it in a lot of messages when I'm scrolling and looking, and it is this one.

And I actually say this one a lot when I'm teaching a masterclass.

Does that make sense?

You can say it in certain situations, but in your dms, it's sabotaging your DM conversion and.

This question is literally training your prospects to doubt you and question what you are saying.

They're beginning to question everything you've already said prior to saying, does this make sense when you send a DM explaining your solution and then ask, does that make sense?

You're essentially saying, I'm not sure if I explained this well, and I'm telling you guys, I'm preaching to the choir because this one was a hard one for me.

I say this a lot because

what you're saying is maybe what I'm offering isn't logical and you're creating doubt where there should be.

Certainty.

So instead of ending your dms with something like, does this make sense?

Try something like this.

What questions do you have about this?

Or what part of this excites you most?

Like, assume they're excited, assume they have questions, and move forward with confidence instead of saying, does this make sense?

Instead of saying something like, my course helps you have a better breastfeeding experience.

Does that make sense?

You're gonna say something like, my course helps you have a better breastfeeding experience.

What can we chat about about getting you started or when can we chat about getting you started?

You want to change?

Does that make sense?

Into a powerful.

Comment.

So instead of saying, I teach a system that gets your result in six weeks, does that make sense for you?

Say something like, I teach a system that gets your results in six weeks and this would be perfect for you.

Here's what I learned, and this is the business principle that changed everything.

Confident experts do not ask.

If their expertise makes sense, they know it does.

They know it does.

They assume it does, and they guide the conversation forward towards the sale.

The psychology behind it is called confidence contagion.

Your prospect will feel as confident about your solution as you sound in your messages.

So if you're questioning yourself, they're gonna question you as well.

So instead of saying, does that sound like something you'd be interested in, say, this sounds perfect for you.

Or instead of saying, this is exact say, does that make sense for your birth?

This is exactly what your birth needs.

We want to be confident.

Now, the final phrase is probably the most dangerous one of all in your dms because it sounds so polite and professional that even successful entrepreneurs use it without realizing they're giving people permission to actually say no to the sale.

So this one is if you are interested, and this one is very hard.

To let go of.

This is very hard to let go of.

So this is the most dangerous phrase, and this phrase is single handedly responsible for more lost DM sales.

For myself and for you probably than any other words you can type out.

If you're interested, I can send you a link if you're interested in learning more, if you're interested in my program, every time you type that out, every time you say that in a DM or in a sales conversation, you're making your solution optional.

You're saying the word if you are interested, we do not want that.

And here's what I never saw coming, and this changed my entire DM approach.

When someone comments on your post, or they send you a DM about their struggle, they're literally raising their hand for help.

But then we DM them and we are talking with them and we say something like, if you're interested, like we're not sure.

That our solution can actually help them, or we're not sure that they're interested.

We need to assume that they are, and we know that we can help them.

Okay.

Instead of saying, if you're interested, I can send you a link to my course.

Send this.

Hey, my course is perfect for someone like you.

Would you like the link?

Now, I always tell my clients to always ask before you send the link.

That way you're getting micro yeses.

So instead of, if you're interested in chatting about this, let me know.

Try something like, I'd love to help you with this.

Would you like to do a call?

So you're asking for permission and you're confident.

I used to respond to comments like, if you're interested in my birth course, I can share more details.

And my conversion rate was really, really slow, but when I changed it to my birth course would be perfect for you.

Would you like the link?

My conversion rate went up.

So here are a few more confident DM scripts for you guys.

You can jot this down.

If you're interested in my free training, let me know.

Flip it to this.

This free training will solve exactly what you're dealing with.

Would you like the link or if you say something like, if you're interested in working together, we can talk.

Instead say, you're exactly who I love working with.

Would you like to set up a call?

See how the flip in the confidence and the certainty, and again, certainty sell.

And when someone comments on your post sharing their struggle, instead of saying, if you're interested, I have a solution for this.

I want you to have a genuine conversation.

And be very confident and say, I can help you with this.

My course is perfect for what you're going through.

Would you like the link the psychology behind this is when you confidently state that your solution is perfect for them, and then ask, would you like the link?

You're getting them to say yes.

And again, that is a micro yes, and that creates momentum and commitment.

We do this throughout our workshops too.

When I'm teaching my clients how to create micro experiences, we create micro yeses because now they've actively requested your solution instead of you pushing it onto them.

Friend, here's what I want you to understand.

These five phrases aren't just words.

They are the difference between over here, building a thriving business or over here wondering why your engagement never converts to sales.

When I eliminated these phrases from my dms and from my conversations intentionally, my.

Business shifted.

Everything changed.

My confidence changed.

My conversion rate changed and my income changed.

My DM two discovery call rate went through the roof and my average conversion on my calls increased by 40%.

But most importantly, I stopped feeling desperate and I started feeling confident.

And the expert that I am, your best fan ever, is waiting for you to show up with confidence in their dms, in their comments, in the conversations.

They want to be led by someone who believes in their solution more than they believe in the problem that that BFE is having.

Confidence sells.

So here's what I want you to do right now.

I want you to go through your last 10 DM conversations, and I want you to count how many times you've used these five phrases.

Then rewrite those messages using the scripts I just gave you.

Next time you have a DM conversation and you could even give your chat or your AI program, whatever you use.

Prompts of, Hey, I never wanna respond with these five phrases and switch it to powerful phrases.

Train it so that when you have DM conversations, because those DM conversations are worth a lot for your business.

So screenshot your next 10 DM conversations.

These are your action steps because action takers are money makers.

I want you to screenshot the last 10 conversations, eliminate the five phrases, use confidence scripts with, would you like questions, and track your conversion rate.

And then let me know and tag me, because here's the truth, confidence and certainty doesn't just sell in your dms.

They sell in your masterclasses, your training, your micro experiences, because when you show up as the expert you are, you give your BFE permission to invest in the transformation, which I hate using that word because it's chat's best friend, but it's truly what they're looking for is they're looking for a transformation and that's what they need.

So be confident, show up confidently and take action.

Now before you leave me, be sure to subscribe.

Hit that like button, leave a comment or review, and I'll see you again next week.

That was your cosmic slap in the booty, babe.

I'll be back next week.

Bye for now.

I.