I Didn’t Feel Ready. I Got on the Plane Anyway.

I was 28 years old with four little boys at home.

Gavin was three when I boarded a plane to India alone.

I was going to bring my daughter home.

I didn't know whether I would get to leave with her or not, but I was going, and I certainly didn't know that while we would be in India, September 11th would happen, and suddenly I'm stuck there.

There's no flights home to America.

I'm Trish Ware, and this is a space for women whose work impacts the lives of moms.

Today, I wanna tell you a story about the woman I was long before I built my businesses.

A woman who was scared, who didn't have the whole plan, who took the next step anyway.

That's how I roll.

I shared this story recently on Instagram, and it blew up.

So many of you connected with it, but there are parts I want to tell you that a carousel just couldn't hold, especially what happened when my daughter and I finally came home so I had been matched with Sitara, my daughter, when she was only three months old, but then adoptions in India got put on hold.

So she's 15 months at this time.

She's still living in an orphanage, and I'm still waiting to bring her home.

a few weeks before I got on that plane, another mom from our adoption group online was in India visiting her baby, and while she was there, she found out something I had no clue about, like I did not know about.

She was looking over the shoulder of Sister Teresa, and she saw that my daughter had a court date, and the plan was for me to wait for that court date, like stay home and wait.

But this mom told me something that changed everything.

She said that the babies that were coming home were the ones who parents showed up and went to court, and suddenly waiting did not feel like an option anymore.

So now deciding I needed to go and knowing how to go were like two very polar opposite things because we did not have the money.

We did not have the resources.

We had four young boys at home.

Like I said, my youngest, Gavin, was only three, and I was petrified.

I had never been out of the country like this, and I didn't know how I was gonna make it happen.

So I did what I do.

I got on my knees and I started praying and fasting, and a few days later, another lady from my group online calls me.

Her name's Rosa, and she said, "Trish, I found a buddy pass and you can go to India for free," first class, y'all, "to get your daughter." And that is what made the next step possible.

I didn't know that was coming, and I want you guys to really hear that.

Sometimes you take a leap of faith without knowing what's coming.

Fast forward, I'm sick and I was so sick I couldn't eat.

I had a virus.

I ended up in the hospital, but then I leave to go get my daughter, and when I left, my boys were able to walk to the gate with me.

And as I pull away, I put my hand up on the window and all my babies-- Like, I'm getting choked up 'cause I can remember this so clearly.

All of my babies from inside the airport, 'cause that's when you could walk down to the gate, they all had their hands up matching mine and they were watching me, and I can still picture it.

It was a really difficult time because, you know, like I said They watched me board and they stood at that window, and there they were with their hands against the glass.

And my heart, it, it hurts right now thinking because I know what, came after.

My stomach was sick.

I had been sick for reals, and I went anyway.

And I want you to hear that part because sometimes when we tell a story years later, knowing how it ends, the decision sounds easier than it was.

Although this is a story that might not be the case.

We make it sound like the woman taking the step was a badass that had all this confidence.

I did not.

I did not.

I knew my daughter was in India, and I knew that her mama needed to come to bring her home, and I knew I had to try even though I did not know if I was gonna get her.

So two days later, and a bad case of diarrhea, I meet my baby, and she screams and runs the other way.

She wants nothing to do with me, nothing at all.

And in my telling of it, she was looking at me like, " Who is this crazy white lady?

Get her out of here." And it was not the, the meeting that I had dreamt of and pictured, but I was a stranger to this little girl.

I had been waiting for her all these months.

She was not waiting for me.

She was meeting me for the first time, but I, got down on her level and I stayed and I spent time with her, and I bribed her a little with some lollipops.

And a few days later, a lollipop is what helps us make a little progress.

I take her out on a playground and give her her lollipop, and it was pretty darn awesome, but something shifted and she latched to me.

Then that night when I go to put her to bed in the orphanage, the sisters surprised me and they looked at me and said, " You take baby, you take baby to hotel."

And I was like: Wait, what?

What did you say?

I have been so lonely in that hotel room without my babies, all alone in this foreign country, and now I get to take her with me.

And you guys, she was stuck to my hip because when I tried to put her in that crib, she was screaming like a banshee, and I get to bring her home.

and let me just tell you, I got to dress her in the sweet little clothes.

Now mind you, I have four boys, y'all.

So we still have to go through court.

We still have to do all the things.

I spend two days sitting in a Dirt floor, chaotic courtroom, not really understand w- you know, what is happening, waiting and hoping that my case would be called because he kept taking naps, he kept dismissing us.

And there was this whole situation, you guys, where the judge keeps stopping the court and saying something to the guards.

Now, mind you, I don't understand Telugu.

And then the guards would rush over to me, and they would say something very aggressive to me, and I was like, "Okay," ' cause I have no clue what is going on.

So I'm smiling and I'm nodding, but here's what I was doing, this right here.

A woman behind me taps me on the shoulder.

By the way, she had been in court for years, 10 years trying to get a divorce.

But she tells me the judge was upset because I kept crossing my legs, which is a no-go in India.

That was not acceptable behavior in the courtroom.

I need to look up what it means, but it was no good.

We didn't have internet like we do now, right?

I didn't have a cellphone.

Hear me, I was in India with no cellphone.

So apparently I kept doing things to s- disrupt the courtroom, and I want you to hear that, right?

I got on a plane without confidence, not knowing if I was gonna get what I wanted, and I'm disrupting the room.

But in that disruption, the judge decides, "Get this freaking woman out of here." And he hears my case, and he approves it.

Now, we're not ready to go home yet.

We had to fly to New Delhi to do paperwork for the I… It was like the INS, I don't remember, I-900.

Then we had to fly back to Hyderabad where the orphanage was to get her passport.

Then we had to fly to Chennai to get her visa.

It was a whole thing.

This was a whole thing.

So we do all those things, and it, it takes a while, right?

And I get to Chennai with a passport.

I was gonna travel by train, mind you, but I decided, someone said, "That's not safe for you and a baby. Fly." So I fly in that morning.

I get to Chennai.

I go to the American Embassy, and he says to me, " You have to go get a pediatrician visit.

You have to get pictures.

You have to do this." Now, mind you, I don't have a cellphone.

I don't have Google Maps.

I don't have Apple Maps.

I have no maps.

And so, he says, "Be back by noon, and I'll get this approved in the next few days."

And I said, "Okay, sir. I will do this." And so I bust my butt.

Side note, which I didn't share on Instagram, I'm getting into the taxi, and I don't know why we were putting stuff in the trunk, but he shuts the door and cuts my head open in India.

I'm a nurse.

Now I'm freaking out, y'all, because I'm gonna get an infection, but it didn't stop me.

So I get to the pediatrician.

I get to the, Indian Walgreens, get some passport photos.

I don't know what's going on.

Now my daughter is screaming.

She has giardia, she has in, you know, intestinal problems.

She's got a ruptured eardrum.

Not the baby you want in the American Embassy.

However, I stand there and he says, "Okay, you go to your hotel.

We'll have this done.

We'll get this done." I said, " No, sir. I'm gonna sit in your lobby, your nice beautiful lobby, and I'm gonna wait for you," because I didn't wanna go back to my $2 hotel, and I wanted this paperwork 'cause I missed my babies, and I was not doing, handling Indian food well at all.

My stomach was a mess.

And so there I was with my daughter, sitting in this pristine American Embassy.

She's having diarrhea out of her diaper, which, let me just tell you, the diapers in India were not what I was used to.

And she's screaming, she's fussing, she's yelling, she's laughing.

We're being loud.

And at 5:00 PM, in India mind you, he comes in and gives me my paperwork.

And I am ready to go home.

So I go to my $2 hotel, which I never spent the night in, and I pack up my stuff.

I get to the domestic airport in Chennai, and I call my family and I say, " I'm coming home." And I get my ticket, and I fly from Chennai to Mumbai

Now, I'm in air to Mumbai and I have no idea what's gonna happen.

But there's a nicely dressed gentleman next to me and mid-flight, a flight attendant runs out, grabs him, he runs to the cockpit.

I didn't understand anything people were saying to me.

So when I get to the international airport, I realize there's a lot more chaos than the normal chaos, and I go to the Delta flight and they say to me, " There's no more flights to America." I'm like, "Excuse me, what?" Then I run to the STD booth, which is the communication booth, and I'm told there's no phone calls to America.

And I'm sitting there, I'm holding this baby, I'm exhausted, I'm emotional.

I can't call my family and I can't go home.

So I look around in the airport and I find a woman who had blonde hair in the midst of dark hair, and I run to her and she told me what was happening.

And so I realized that I had one phone number.

I had gone to church while I was in Hyderabad, and a woman at the church, her sister was visiting, her name was Shikha.

I didn't understand a darn word she said to me at that point 'cause I had just gotten to India.

But she wrote her phone number and she said she lived in Mumbai.

And when I came in for my flight, she said the flight would be late, to call her.

So I go and I call her, and she answers the phone and she says, " Trish, we've been waiting for your call.

We know what happened and we knew that you were flying out.

We're coming to get you." And Shikha and her family bring me into their home.

Her husband worked for FedEx, and so he had a satellite phone, and I was able to call my family.

And I was there for another almost week with them because my daughter had a visa to go to the US, and Indian citizens have to have a visa to leave their country to enter another.

So we could not fly to the US, but we could fly to Europe, but only I could.

My baby could not.

So we had to wait for the German Embassy to approve a visa to go to Germany.

Well, guess what else?

My Buddy Pass was null and void, so I had no ticket home.

And so my church bought me like a $4,000 ticket to get home for me and this baby.

Here's the other thing.

I get to spend time with Shikha and her family, and I get to see the Indian hospitality and family life in a way I never would have

And I got to experience more of my daughter, Sitara's culture, and we were even able to do a little tourism because before that I had been alone.

Now, I was still scared and I was still worried about my family, but in the middle of all the uncertainty, I had this still time, this quiet time with my daughter, and I had people around me who were loving on me and helping me.

And I think about that part of the story too.

I had made a decision to go alone, but there were people helping me all along the way.

Rosa, my friend with the Buddy Pass, who my daughter's name is Rosa Katherine Sitara, the woman in court who explained what was happening, Shikha and her family who opened their home to me and this baby, my family back home, my church back home working to help us get out.

I took the steps, the leaps.

I accepted the help, and eventually we found a possible way out of India.

So like I said before, there were flights to Europe, but my baby girl had a visa to America.

She did not have a visa to Germany, and I was not leaving her because imagine if you will, if I hadn't gotten her visa right before that first plane struck, I probably would've never gotten her out, and I was not leaving her.

And yes, this delayed our leaving, but again, we had a next step we hadn't anticipated.

Almost a week later, after more trials than I can count They got us out, and we were on our way to Germany first, and the one thing I asked for was a blow dryer.

I needed a hair dryer.

That's a side note.

Then we are headed home on a flight out of Frankfurt with all military men.

Mind you, they're holding my baby so I can pee.

They're passing her around.

Like, it was unlike anything I'll ever experience.

I land in Atlanta, and I go in the bathroom, and I wanna put makeup on.

I wanna look good, right?

And I almost missed my flight.

But when I get to Chattanooga, I land at the gate.

Now, mind you, before that, people could walk to the gate, but when I come back, there's security everywhere.

There's not one person waiting for me at the gate.

It was very surreal, and there's not many people in the airport at all.

But I walk down this long hallway holding this child, and when I get to the lobby, I come out, and there's about 50 people waiting on us After all the waiting in the court, the paperwork, the flights we couldn't take, the uncertainty about when we would get back, there they were, yelling and laughing and shouts of joy, waiting for me and my daughter.

We made it home.

And sometimes I think about that 28-year-old version of me I know how scared she was.

I know how exhausted she was, and I know she couldn't see everything before her.

She had no idea what was coming, and some of it was really, really bad.

And there are three things from that experience that I carry with me that allows me to be who I am now, and it allowed me to create two seven-figure businesses.

The first is that I can make a meaningful decision without feeling confident about it.

I didn't board that plane feeling fearless.

I boarded it with a virus, diarrhea, and my boys crying on the other side of the glass The second is that I can stick with something important when it gets complicated.

I am a never giver upper.

That trip asked me to wait, ask questions, figure things out, know all the things, and keep going through steps I hadn't expected.

And lastly, the third thing is that I can take the next step without knowing the whole path.

I can also let people come alongside me and help me, and that part matters.

When I look back, I see my determination.

I also see the people who made room for me, for us, and shared what they knew and helped me get home.

And I still need both in my life, the willingness to move, to take action, and the willingness to let people come alongside me and help me If you're listening and there is a decision in front of you I want you to think about taking action People who move fast, who make decisions quick, they get faster results.

I want you to think about who can come alongside you and what is one thing you can do with what you know now?

You don't have to know the whole path.

You don't have to pretend that you're fearless.

You can acknowledge that something is hard for you, but you're gonna take the scary steps.

We are creating a room for women like me that impact the lives of moms and families or consumers.

This is not a room for B2B.

We have the links in the show notes, but for today, I want you to think about one next step

And the person you might let help you take it.

You don't have to know the whole way.

You can take the steps without knowing all the things.

Okay, so that is your cosmic slap on the booty.

The magic is inside you.

I'll see you again next week.

Make sure that you hit subscribe, leave a review.

Tell me what landed in this story.

I wanna hear, and I wanna bring you into my life.

I want you to get to know me because there is nothing special about me.

What I have that I can hand to you is confidence, is a willingness to take action without all the information, and a never giver upper attitude If you commit to your path and you don't quit, you will succeed.

Okay, you guys, I'll see you again next week.

Bye for now